This is NOT a " I'm the worst parent" contest

There is so much to say as I haven't been present in the "blogging world" for a while now. So what do I need to say that got me to log on and click for "new post?" Well, first the topic of parenting is coming up a lot in my world. Which seems so fitting considering that it seems to be very relevant to our family right now.

I was reading an always encouraging blog called "Our Family for His Glory" and it's content will leave you wanting to be "the best" parent for your kids. Thats ultimately always been a desire for me but what a struggle it's been. No lies.

I know, another parent publicly speaking (through the cyberworld) about they're struggles and feelings of failure. I recognize I'm not the only one.

I have many stuggles as a parent but one in particular is my quick abiility to dismiss my children and make them feel like they're unwanted around me :( Because, in the moment, I'm feeling annoyed or frustrated with the fact that all I want to do is sit here and enjoy this cup of joe and go about MY buisness. There are a couple of words for this but I'm sure you're already thinking them.


This Lord, is something that torments me after the fact that I've done it! So after repentance is in place with my kids I find something to do with them for redemption-sake. I think to myself about how UNDESERVING I am of these precious kids. What did the Lord see in me that HE thought I could be the caretaker and counsel of these four innocent children?

I pray often "Lord, whatever I lack to provide for my kids or if there a slim chance of them turning out as anything less then what You want then please Lord, place in their hearts grace, love, forgiveness times ten."

Maybe, I'm hard on myself. I realize that I don't become hard on myself for "pity-sake" but for an attempt to dust myself at every failure in parenting I've had and try again. The Lord shows me much, convicts me much, teaches me much, and has grace for me much. Thank You Jesus! What I lack He provides.

I absolutely, no doubt about it, would run in front of a train. fight 4 two-hundred pound men (God forbid) for my children (and my husband of course, but this blog is not about him);)I know God sees my heart and my perseverence in this matter and thats why His grace is continually on me :D Perhaps thats why I'm blessed to have them because God knew I was as determined to not fail my children when others would. I will continually seek His counsel and the wise counsel of mothers I respect and admire.

Scattered thoughts...probably. But this is for me to understand but if you receieved anything through it, then brillant!

So many things to learn, teach, and provide for our kids and yet so little time.

Pray for us.

Compassion

There are many things the Lord has taught me, shown me, and brought me though. None, can compare to how He helped me experience the feeling of compassion.



Through devastating news around the world. Mostly, the area of Japan. It seems that believers have been given the opportunity to witness. Some in more radical ways then others. The social networking sites, video clips, and end time prophecy articles have increased due to a devastating natural disaster. Sure, we Christians can point at such sad events and call them the wrath of God and say, "See this, this is prophecy the end is near! Accept Jesus as your LORD and Savior or you will perish."



My point is not that we can't share end time scripture. My point is that I feel believers crave disaster and bad things to happen for the opportunity to share Jesus. Though it is an opportunity, our witnessing tactics should not bring a threatening fear but bring a desire to experience the Love of Christ in peoples lives. Do we forget how compassionate Christ was? He witnessed through His healings, His teachings, His ability to to make people feel loved. He didn't do this just to prove He was God, but because He was God abounding with love and compassion.



At this moment, many people are saddened. People are mourning. So, we should mourn with them. Pray for them. We comfort those who need comforting. We need to put our focus and allowing our hearts to reach the level of compassion. To suffer with those who suffer. Compassion is not just a stronger word for saddened it's also making the gesture of relieving those in distress. My heart has been changed to bring the lost into the Kingdom of God through the compassion that I have now gained for the hurt and the lost.



" Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of Mercies and God of all comfort, Who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." 2 Corinthians 3-4



I understand that the world will experience worse things. But I don't intend to scare people with it. I merely will ask the Lord to mirror my heart like His and help me to reach people as He would.



" To the weak I became as weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some." 1 Corinthians 9:22

OFF WITH THEIR HEADS! Asking God to help me become a more mericful wife.

I didn't think that I could continue this blog without informing everyone the definition of "mercy" according to Dictionary.com

Mercy:
Compassionate or kindly forbearance shown toward an offender, an enemy, or other person in one's power; compassion, pity, or benevolence: Have mercy on the poor sinner.
the poor sinner.
An act of kindness, compassion, or favor.

And the definition of "forbearance" to better understand the word mercy.


Forbearance
1.the act of forbearing; a refraining from something.
2.
forbearing conduct or quality; patient endurance; self-control.
3.
an abstaining from the enforcement of a right.


I was having a conversation with a friend earlier today about the fact that I feel like I am in need of a vacation. Husband and I. Ranting about the fact that I talked to my husband about this need to take us on vacation because of previous not-so-splendid events. I later found it to be an opportunity to see how I'm a wife that doesn't show much mercy. Even though we got a good laugh over the phone it still remained true. I am my husbands not so pleasant reminder of the things he fell short to come through on. Especially on the days I'm feeling overly emotional.


You see, I feel like I'm deserving of a vacation. Because, well, we've been married almost 6 years. No honeymoon, still no vacation him and I. Not even a wedding night I thought was up to par according to my standards. Spoiled thought? Yes! I also don't fail to bring up our wedding night when I have the chance. Merciless? Very much!

Do I have the right to make my husband feel like he's being executed? OFF WITH HIS HEAD! No!I'm going to inform everyone that the antonym for "mercy" is "cruel". So during the times I'm purposely merciless I am being cruel. OUCH! My husbands intentions have always been the best. He wasn't purposely trying to make me feel discontent. Even if I was. Who am I? I'm embarrassed to even think that I should have that right to make him feel guilty about not getting or reminding him of events that should never be talked about again. It's not usually a habit for me to become like this character. I do know its a character that I don't want to fall into again.

God is merciful. He is merciful in our unrighteousness, our sins and our lawless deeds. He remembers them no more. Hebrews 8:12

Thats absolutely perfect love! I'm not perfect. I know that the LORD is. He is in my heart. I should live a life that mirrors His love through mercy, grace, and forgiveness.

Jesus says in Matthew 5:7-9

"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, For they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, For they shall be called sons of God."

To conclude this story, rant, and truth. I feel like it should be my head. But given the fact that my Savior is perfect He is fixing my cruel heart and teaching me some things on the way.

Have you ever had one of those days...you know, the good ones?

Today was a day of perfect balance. I want to say that from now on, every day is going to be exactly what today was. Might I add, can you have a perfectly balanced day when you have your period? Maybe sometimes. So with period and all it was a successful day. These are the days to blog about!

I've always known in my head that scheduling was important. I'm a planner, but not a hardcore by the minute planner. Especially with four kids four and under. One, because there are always unexpected things happening. Always discipline to be enforced. Another is giving kids freedom to be kids (only in appropriate doses). So I gathered that there was a perfect flow today.


I did however have to correct my oldest quite a few times today. Discipline has not been lacking these days. Especially with my oldest. He's a sneaky clever guy and that can potentially be dangerous. A house under control is very pleasant and the chances of you hiding out crying while ripping out your hair is less likely to occur. Discipline is key. To discipline and to teach.

I had to teach my oldest the word "aggravating" today. I defined in "kid terms" as "bothering." If you ask him, he'll tell you. We went over it more then a handful of times. He does it a lot with his sisters. There is a natural pull for brothers to behave this way with sisters so I'm not that worried about it. I also know my girls can be overly dramatic about it.

But anyway, I had the opportunity to thank God during my quiet time and acknowledge His presence. Yes, in my own room. No disturbances. For 20 minutes.

"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

That topped the day. Time to give my thoughts to Him, share my joys with Him, and giving Him praises is what brings me fulfillment.

So even though I'm not a hardcore scheduler, I do think having some kind of plan for the day is important. Its for sanity sake that I, as a mom, need some quiet time so I'm not a rude unlovable wife when my husband gets home :)