I didn't think that I could continue this blog without informing everyone the definition of "mercy" according to Dictionary.com
Mercy:
Compassionate or kindly forbearance shown toward an offender, an enemy, or other person in one's power; compassion, pity, or benevolence: Have mercy on the poor sinner.
the poor sinner.
An act of kindness, compassion, or favor.
And the definition of "forbearance" to better understand the word mercy.
Forbearance
1.the act of forbearing; a refraining from something.
2.
forbearing conduct or quality; patient endurance; self-control.
3.
an abstaining from the enforcement of a right.
I was having a conversation with a friend earlier today about the fact that I feel like I am in need of a vacation. Husband and I. Ranting about the fact that I talked to my husband about this need to take us on vacation because of previous not-so-splendid events. I later found it to be an opportunity to see how I'm a wife that doesn't show much mercy. Even though we got a good laugh over the phone it still remained true. I am my husbands not so pleasant reminder of the things he fell short to come through on. Especially on the days I'm feeling overly emotional.
You see, I feel like I'm deserving of a vacation. Because, well, we've been married almost 6 years. No honeymoon, still no vacation him and I. Not even a wedding night I thought was up to par according to my standards. Spoiled thought? Yes! I also don't fail to bring up our wedding night when I have the chance. Merciless? Very much!
Do I have the right to make my husband feel like he's being executed? OFF WITH HIS HEAD! No!I'm going to inform everyone that the antonym for "mercy" is "cruel". So during the times I'm purposely merciless I am being cruel. OUCH! My husbands intentions have always been the best. He wasn't purposely trying to make me feel discontent. Even if I was. Who am I? I'm embarrassed to even think that I should have that right to make him feel guilty about not getting or reminding him of events that should never be talked about again. It's not usually a habit for me to become like this character. I do know its a character that I don't want to fall into again.
God is merciful. He is merciful in our unrighteousness, our sins and our lawless deeds. He remembers them no more. Hebrews 8:12
Thats absolutely perfect love! I'm not perfect. I know that the LORD is. He is in my heart. I should live a life that mirrors His love through mercy, grace, and forgiveness.
Jesus says in Matthew 5:7-9
"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, For they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, For they shall be called sons of God."
To conclude this story, rant, and truth. I feel like it should be my head. But given the fact that my Savior is perfect He is fixing my cruel heart and teaching me some things on the way.
Like. :)
ReplyDeleteI am the same way with my husband. Even about our wedding which was not up to par on my standards as well, and I usually don't have any qualms about bringing that up and making him feel like the scum of the earth... It's like its viciously satisfying to make him feel bad when I feel emotional. I want him to FEEL something, anything, even if its bad. But he doesn't get angry with me! That makes it worse! He still treats me wonderfully and doesn't catch on that I'm trying to make him feel bad...
ReplyDeleteI know, its awful. I'm working on it. I'm working on the things that I had preconceived such as what I think I DESERVE (hollywood beautiful romance) vs. the things I need (his love, the way he shows it but not the way I always understand). Hmm.
Thats the worst...when they don't catch on to our attempts to make them feel like scum. Yet, they continue to be gentlemen. Hollywood romances are lies...
ReplyDelete